We all need …

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This evening I have spent a bit of time preparing a speech/ presentation I will deliver in just under three weeks.  The topic comes from John Maxwell’s book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, the same source as the course I am going to start teaching a week from today.

Tell me – what is it that prevents you from building stronger relationships with people at work?

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems to be human nature to be completely absorbed with our own issues and not take any one else’s issues into consideration.  Yet we all still have a deep need to be heard and understood.

I’ve talked about The Five Core Concerns of Negotiation before, but I really think these are five powerful keys to understanding where other people are coming from.

  1. Appreciation – we all want those around us to see our strengths and value them.
  2. Autonomy – we all want to be free to make our own decisions without coercion.
  3. Affiliation – we all want to belong.
  4. Status – we all want to be respected.
  5. Role – we all want a part to play in the group.

If you want a stronger relationship with someone – whether you’ve just met them or known them for years upon years – give them more of these five things.

You might be saying to yourself, “I do appreciate them.”  When was the last time you verbally expressed that appreciation?

I have learned that we human beings have a short memory when it comes to the positive thoughts and feelings others express.  You have to make these five concerns explicit.  You have to verbalize it.

Who do you need to encourage today?  Why are you still reading?  Go talk to them now!

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